Performing the Truth

Friday, August 07, 2009

Last week I completed an intensive movement  theater workshop at Sadler’s Wells Theatre with my company, Aegis Productions Ltd. The technique we studied, Gardzienice, comes from some of the most physical performers available in Eastern Europe.  Our director and her assistant had the ability to suspend the laws of physics. In ten days she did her best to do the same.

 

If this was a disability themed blog, I would now proceed to write an inspiring entry about how I was able to overcome my physical limitations and have an amazing two weeks. Fortunately, I’m not that kind of writer and my disability isn’t the most interesting thing about me.

 

In recent months several of my artistic collaborators have brought up the concern of performing with a physical disability. Many artistic institutions continue to use excuses such as “having a limited movement vocabulary” to justify their lack of inclusion, or as I prefer to see it, a lack of imagination.  I believe even more firmly this rationale is not only damaging to the craft but is cowardly as well.

 

A lack of imagination is a shockingly common trait amongst performance practioners particularly when it comes to disability inclusion. For those of you who doubt me, please see my article referring to Susan Boyle.  There are countless singing teachers who won’t take a student on with vocal nodes. When I was five and wanted to be a ballerina, there wasn’t a single dance school that would let me join their kiddie classes. (one wonders what they were teaching.) The civil rights campaign IAMPWD estimates that while about twenty percent of the America population is disabled, only one-half of one percent of words spoken on television are spoken by a person with a disability. It’s like the artists and producers can’t see past the boundaries of their own imaginations to dwell in possibility.

 

Of course, this wouldn’t bother me so much if I didn’t know that imagination could be stretched, the craft could be improved, and art does not move forward without individual artists pushing to enhance creativity. Two weeks working with a Gardzienice director who refused to see limits yielded the seedlings of new forms of movement which could someday challenge and inspire endless amounts of performers.

 

A favorite word bounced around conservatories is that of “truth.” Students at drama schools are repeatedly told that successful performance is “truthful” and therefore transcends various barriers. Taking the institution’s own bromide as fact, do not these barriers also include disability? If acting is truthful and fully in the moment , it doesn’t matter if there are back flips or the tinest movements such as eye blinks featured, it will be effective.

 

There are millions of terrific ways to play King Lear. Understanding the physicality of an old man is simply one way of entering into the character.  If it was the only way of doing so, then good performance would only take someone who could move like a feeble old man to perfect the role. For that matter, no one over the age of eighteen could ever effectively play thirteen year old Juliet.  But directors say they are looking to see a role played truthfully, NOT accurately. Truth is beyond facts and sciences because even a robot, performing scientifically programmed movements could never be truthful.

 

It is the task of the artist to stretch their own boundaries of imagination and vision. Because the art of a society reflects the heart of a society, it is vital that we, as artists, find the human truth in our work. This truth transcends physicality, sinew, and mind as all these do deteriorate even while our humanity remains intact.  In short, Lear is not tragic because he is old, he is tragic because he is human. It is that humanity, which can transcend all sorts of ailments and deteriorations, which is at the centre of performing any character.

Waiting for a Friend

Friday, July 31, 2009

 “I can’t keep going on like this.”

“That’s what you think.”

- From Waiting for Godot

 

It was one of those productions that is a guaranteed money maker. Four legendary British actors performing one of the greatest plays of the twentieth century Waiting for Godot. After we left, I found myself discussing the production with my escort. It’s something we thespians do to suck the fun out of any show we see, often if only to make ourselves feel better. Crossing over Trafalgar Square we avoided the traffic while trying to make sense of what we just saw.

 

“Because that is what life is about really.” We’d come to that point in the conversation where we had reached gross generalizations and bromides. All actors hit this point after seeing a show; when their critique runs out but the conversation’s inertia hasn’t.

 

The reason (largely) that I don’t let the conversation die is that this is a friend I love being around. Actually that’s only part of the explanation. The fact is I don’t want to go home because I feel stuck. I don’t have the energy to worry that my career’s going nowhere. At home there’s a stack of rejected grant applications waiting for me. Each one has a different reason for rejection that conflicts with all of the others. I’ve gone to bed every night this week wondering if I’ve accomplished anything since college.

 

“This is my friend Athena,” he begins as he’s introducing me to his friends. “She told me at twenty that she was going to move to London and act. Now she owns her own theater company.” The preface acts as a jolt yanking me back from my spine. I am reminded how he sees me, even on the days that I can’t look past myself. He knows where I’ve come from, and can look back to see that progress is being made.  I just don’t always believe him, or the distance traveled.

 

The men who wait for Godot together couldn’t survive separated. Even if Godot is as wonderful as the other characters seem to think he is, the day to day grating of life, just the mundane things, is enough to make the waiting in faith impossible. Add to that the stress of striving to make something of life, and you have eighty plus years to carry a burden that is impossible to lift alone.

 

The friends which make life tolerable, are the ones that know you better than you do yourself.  Moreover, the friends who make this life bearable are the ones that can see more depth in you than you knew you ever had. In the statement: “that’s what you think,” there is packed so much hope for perseverance. They push further, knowing that the ineria must keep going.

 

Godot never shows up of course. Or at least he doesn’t bother to show up during the two and a half hours we are watching it.  But in a world where the dramatic situation never changes the players do change. They wait. They hold onto hope for just that one day longer than they thought they possible yesterday. Even if the hope is just enough for today, its all you need now.

 

And in that second when a friend convinces you that you can keep going, perhaps that’s when Godot actually shows up. 

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