Never Walked In High Heels

“Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it’s yours.”

As I grow older, it can sometimes be an increasing disappointment. In my quieter moments I can hear an ongoing mantra, as consistent as the clicking of a train on the railroad tracks across from the neighborhood, as it grows into the ebb and flow of the nightly schedule. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this, the world wasn’t supposed to be like this. “

I’ve heard my friends say this numerous times, but not the way I mean. They say it in reflection of poverty, unrest, and fragility. And I can see where they are coming from.  When we were children, we weren’t expecting the very harsh reality of a fallen world. But there’s something even more sinister lurking in this society. Nobody ever told me that people will rest on your ability and use it as an excuse not to foster their own. 

I don’t know why this is surprising, it was evident for me to see in the grade school math class where we were forced to work in groups. All of the sudden, I had so many friends that  kids were lining up to sit at my table. And everyone else’s grades shot up, except mine. Eventually, the smarter kids in the class would get fed up and try to sit together, only to have the teacher claim that the new seating arrangement made her “uncomfortable” and that she would have to change it.

In recent years I have witnessed the death of personal responsibility. Maybe it was dead when I was a kid, but I was taught that assuming the mantle of personal responsibility was the first step in protecting one’s precious personal freedom. You cannot be free and still remain dependent on anyone, nor can you be free and be forced  to save others who do not value their own freedom. The now consistent demands of government and intelligentsia that those who have succeeded should now share their success with those who haven’t even tried only discourages success. What is the point of moving ahead if it only guarantees another chain around your ankles? Why bother trying to earn more money if it’s only going to force you into a higher tax bracket? Why take personal responsibly for yourself if it forces you to become responsible for everyone else as well?

Thus we breed irresponsibility. 

Finding someone who loves his freedom is becoming next to impossible, and thus have ended a good many potential relationships on my side. Someone who recognizes the intrinsic value of his freedom can only then know the vast and irreplaceable value and potential of any human life. I couldn’t see myself with anyone who didn’t appreciate that his life and freedom was connected directly to his actions. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who didn’t love being free. 

There’s got to be some people left who recognize that the motor of the world is man’s mind and that are willing to hold themselves to the standards it takes to ensure progress.  I’m not that last person to love my life and my freedom, am I? If I am, it explains a lot. Now I know why people find me intimidating. But these are visions that I cannot give up in a world which demands self sacrifice from its most successful. As much as I am hopeful about finding these men, if I don’t find them, I cannot compromise  and bring in someone who does not value his life and his freedom enough to keep his standards high. 

Life wasn’t supposed to be like this. Opportunity and innovation was to go as far as a human mind was willing the pave the road forward. We were never meant to be held back by a by a government that was there to protect us. But the people who refuse to recognize their own value cannot ever recognize mine. And if that means it will be while before I find a partner to meet my standards, that is fine. I can wait.

As long as I don’t have someone, who encourages dependency, tied to me, I’ll be fine.