Two Forms of Independence
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
By Guest Writer Rebecca Wylie
I like to think of myself as a very independent person despite not being physically able to take care of myself. This may seem like a contradiction and to an outsider, maybe it is. However, after nearly 18 years of being in a wheelchair, I now realize we all possess two different kinds of independence, a physical one and a psychological one.
As one might guess, physical independence manifests itself in one’s body. Can my body move through life without the assistance of another or device? Can I take care of my body and all its biological needs, which sustain its existence? Most people with disabilities will answer “no” to some or all of these questions and this provides a source of daily frustration: the inability to go upstairs to a friend’s apartment, the inability to eat, drink and go to the bathroom when you want to, the inability to show hug, kiss and be intimate like everyone else. You lose control of many aspects of your life, privacy, freedom, and rights. The world is a very exclusive place.
In direct contrast, psychological independence manifests itself in one’s mind and heart. Can I think for myself? Do I possess the courage to take risks, expand my horizons, problem solve, and be flexible when obstacles arise? Do I possess a sense of adventure and zest for life? Is my spirit full? These are much harder questions to answer but are essential for living a full life, disability or not. If you throw in disability, psychological independence becomes one of the few things the individual still controls and it is the thing I try everyday to strive for in everything that I do.
Disability is a unique experience become it requires a great deal of psychological independence in order to get through each day. The general population has psychological independence but they aren’t exactly required to use it everyday. Their days often are mundane: wake up, go to work, see the same people doing the same thing, come home, eat, watch some TV, go to bed and sleep for six hours before they get up and do it all over again. Disabled life is different every day, even when we wake up, go to work, etc. because there is always a new obstacle in the sidewalk, or ignorant person that thinks they know what’s better for you than you do.
There is always a new battle. Utilizing your psychological independence becomes your only artillery and your armor. Use it wisely and you will accomplish every goal, you will meet every challenge.
