Never Walked In High Heels

“That ought to work,” the guy who was reprogramming my electric door said to me as he was finishing up the job. I could tell by the look on his face that he didn’t believe a word he just said. And three days later I was sitting outside in the pouring rain with a door that wouldn’t open when I pushed the button on my remote.

What is it about the word “ought” that seems to release us into some sort of fantasy world where everything goes along as planned? Have you ever been on this planet? Can you please tell me how to get to it? I have never been, and yet the number of times I’ve actually fallen for the idea that things will go how they ought to go is shocking. I think Pavlov’s dog could figure out the idea that things won’t go as planned faster than me.

In college, one of my best friends unexpectedly became pregnant after using three separate forms of birth control. Statistically speaking, the kid shouldn’t even exist and yet she talks in full sentences. The Tesco delivery truck ought to be here by noon, so I ought to be able to leave the house by 12:15. And, of course that’s the one time the driver is running a half hour late.

I find myself (and loved ones) making this error all the time during political or philosophical debates. “People should do x,” the term “should” being just a slightly more Middle English form of “ought.” And, of course, if I’m stupid enough to even begin to make that argument, then I’ve based the entire thing on a fallacy. Because people inevitably don’t do what they should. Policies can’t be made considering what people ought to do, but on their actual behavior.

Talking to one of my neighbors in the dockyard the other day, I came across exactly the weight of faith our idealism takes the form of. He was seeking advice on whether or not the seams on his boat would hold once they set the boat back in the water. One of the older dock men looked at his newly refinished seams and answered with “well, it should.” Given that this boat is a houseboat, I don’t think he found this particularly comforting.

Your child should be fine.  That should be all the food we need. We should be able to make it there by morning. We tell ourselves this to calm our fears. But for me, the words always leave a little voice in my head going “you’ve beaten the odds before.”

We all just seem to forget everyday that we live in a very fallen world where nothing is how it is ought to be. Never having lived in a world where things go as planned, folks should have figured this out by now.